Photograph by Carmel Reid
Many people feel lost when it comes to talking about God. Some say categorically that He does or does not exist, others claim to be ‘Agnostic’ (Not knowing). What I can say about God is that I’m no longer ‘sitting on the fence’, an English expression which meant I wasn’t sure which side I was on. These days I feel cool about the existence of God, but it’s taken me 50 years to get there.
In my childhood I never questioned God, Jesus or the Saints as taught to us by the Roman Catholic religion. I dutifully went through my First Communion at age 6, was confirmed in my early teens and went to confession every week. My education from 7 to 17 was at a Catholic Convent and in the early days God was my friend, I used to love going into the church and having a ‘chat’ with God but by the time I was 18 I began to question His existence and stopped going to Church altogether.
Instead of reading the Bible I read lots of science fiction books that celebrated the brain and made no mention of God or how life started, they only looked at a technological future where the body held a minimal place.
In my 30s and 40s I started to explore New Age modalities. Many of them referred to a mystical higher power but avoided using the word ‘God’ which suited me fine because I was happy to refer to ‘The Universe’ or ‘The Source’ and other non-specific names as a way of explaining the something-bigger-than-us that I could sense but not fully define.
In my mid 50s I met philosopher and author Serge Benhayon who presented God in a very matter of fact way and it blew me away because so much of what he said made sense. It was very different from the stories I’d been fed as a child where I learned about a judgemental, angry God. Instead I learned that God is a truly loving being and we are all his equal children, with no ‘chosen’ ones because we are all the same in our deepest essence.
Despite there being, or maybe because of, the many different religions, most of us do not know that the same one God exists as a fact of life for all of us, regardless of what we believe or what religion we belong to. I found that reassuring.
We’ve all heard about free will and interpret the words in many different ways to suit our lifestyle but I have since learned that the free will God gave us was the freedom to choose what energy we align to and that energy is what gives us our thoughts and drives our actions.
‘Everything is energy’ – Albert Einstein
‘Everything is because of energy’ – Serge Benhayon
It was pretty mind-blowing for me to learn that my thoughts don’t originate from my brain, that they are fed through me from either one of only two outside sources of energy and that what I say is either harming or healing depending on which source I choose.
I can feel this for myself: if I am deeply connected to my body, what I express feels true and is exactly what needs to be said in that moment whereas if I am not connected, what I say is often laced with emotions or laced with judgement and that feels horrible.
I love the feeling that we are all connected and the understanding that every single move we make, every breath we take affects everyone on the planet. We are indeed all one and energetic responsibility is important.
There is a lot more for me to feel and learn. When Serge Benhayon talks about God I can understand and feel that what he presents is a truth because it is so totally in his body. I am unable to present with such clear conviction because most of my life has been lived through my mind and for me God is a mental concept not yet a full physical experience.
I need to live in a way that does not dull my awareness. My body knows Truth and I need to allow myself to feel it in full and then I can express what is there. My mind can repeat any number of words that I have heard but if they are not also part of my lived experience then they will be just empty words.
So although I am cool with knowing and accepting in my mind that God exists, I still have to experience God directly in my body.
“God is light and God is love, both of which are one and the same source of emanating truth. These qualities cannot be felt in the mind.”
Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 213