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What is True Love – Fairy Tale or Fact?

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When I was a little girl, I read lots of stories about princesses and princes and they usually ended up as a couple living ‘happily ever after’ and that set me a picture, an ideal and a fantasy of how life and love could or should be.

How true is that?

How true is our love in all our relationships?

When I was an adult I carried on the fantasy by reading romantic stories where the man and the woman would have some difficulties at first, i.e. perhaps it wasn’t always love at first sight, but eventually they would realise they did love each other and the book would end on a happy note with the couple pledging their eternal love to each other.

It gave me a sense of completion, of satisfaction, but only for a moment. Reality would soon kick in as I realised that real life wasn’t like that.

Looking back I realise most of my life I have felt unloved. I wasn’t abused in any way but something was always missing, and it was only in my 60s that I discovered the missing ingredient was… me. I didn’t love me, so how could anyone else?

For whatever reason very early on in life I decided that showing my true self to the world wasn’t a great idea, and that it was more important to try to be what I thought other people wanted me to be. So I never brought my full self to any relationship, whether to my parents, my sisters, my friends, my boyfriends or my husband, my bosses, or my clients. For everyone I came into contact with I played a role, projecting an image of a happy, efficient, busy, jolly person, when all the while there was a deep underlying sadness, because nobody knew who I truly was. I didn’t know myself.

What I am learning now, in a different country, in a new relationship, is first of all to observe what I am feeling at any moment in time. In the past I dulled my feelings with food but since changing my diet to a more nourishing one, I am living more lightly and find that I am able to recognise subtle feelings that in the past I would have dismissed.

Secondly I am learning to express how I feel honestly and openly, with no apology but with the absolute truth of what I feel in my body. Feelings are fleeting experiences that, if we ignore them or bury them, can build into a tension that causes illness and disease further down the track. For me not expressing how I feel has caused anger and resentment in me, and that feels awful in my body. When I simply say how I feel, my whole body relaxes.

Thirdly I am learning to let go of the need to control anybody else, learning to express what I feel and to not have any expectations of an outcome. I have learned that loving another means giving them space to come to things in their own time. Loving is not controlling – this goes for parenting our children, partnerships, friends, everywhere in life.

On a practical level I have learned that true love does not have a fairy-tale ending, because our relationships are full of challenges and they don’t stop. These challenges create a constant tension that we can choose to be overwhelmed by and want to run away from, or we can see them as beautiful reflections for us to learn from and evolve. Gently exploring these reflections gives us the opportunity to deepen our understanding of each other and thereby deepening our love.

Most important of all when it comes to love in relationships, I have learned that our first relationship is with ourselves, appreciating the qualities we bring to the world, honouring everything we feel, and expressing our truth as much as we feel we can. Only then can we bring ourselves in full to life, only then can we be the love that we truly are in all our relationships.

 

Esoteric – The Truth Within

Photograph by Carmel Reid
Photograph by Carmel Reid

The word Esoteric is often used to mean something mysterious and for some that is a real experience, because the true meaning of the word is ‘Innermost’ and many of us have no concept or awareness of what goes on inside our bodies. We may be aware of our physiology, ie that we have a heart and lungs and a digestive system, but we also have many subtle mechanisms for sensing that go beyond our physical awareness of sound sight touch taste and feel.

We are surrounded by energy, everything is energy, we are energy and our bodies can feel energy flowing in and through us. Witness what happens when someone shouts at us angrily, we naturally recoil. Even though they may not have hit us physically, the impact of the energy, the aggression in the voice let alone the words, feels physical. So we can feel energy, and we can do that all the time. This means that everywhere we go, we are picking up the emotional energy of every single person we meet and, because we are all connected, of everyone on the planet.

Now that sounds pretty massive, feeling everyone on the planet, but it might explain the days when we feel tired for no reason, because we have been picking up energy without being aware of it.

This is where the Esoteric comes in – our ability to be astutely aware of what is passing in and through us, our awareness of what we are feeling within our own bodies, which can be a guide for our choices throughout our day. This is something we can all do, so it’s not really a mystery, it’s a choice.

We tend to measure ourselves by external factors, what’s going on outside of us, what people say, how people look, how they react to us when we speak, and we adapt our behaviours to survive or according to what makes us feel more comfortable, and we protect ourselves from hurt. But that protection builds up physical tension in our bodies that stops us from feeling anything so then we get surprised because we didn’t see it coming.

It may seem weird to know that we can see or feel what’s coming, but it’s not a mysterious talent open to only a few, we all have these amazing abilities to connect within, see and feel, and we have access to an ageless wisdom through our bodies.

We think that our brains and our minds are the wise part of us but in truth is it our body, what we feel inside, our connection within, that gives us access to an intelligence far greater than most of us realise.

The Esoteric can support us in every single aspect of our lives, especially in our relationships and in our expression, because when we truly feel what’s going on, we take nothing personally. We can understand why something is being expressed and the way it is being expressed and know that it is either another person’s expression of hurt, or it is something we ourselves need to learn from. When we are more aware, we can read situations and people in a way that gives us that understanding so we are not devastated by what is going on around us.

This applies to all walks of life and all professions. It is very easy to get sucked into other people’s emotional dramas in a way that is physically draining, but when we can ‘observe and not absorb’ then we are less exhausted, because we have stayed connected to our own body and not let in any energy that is harming.

“Everybody comes from the esoteric, it is in them and of them and it is the same in everybody – everybody has the esoteric on the inside. This is a fact that belongs to the meaning of the word esoteric – the inner-most.”

Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 282

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m Cool With God

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Photograph by Carmel Reid

Many people feel lost when it comes to talking about God. Some say categorically that He does or does not exist, others claim to be ‘Agnostic’ (Not knowing). What I can say about God is that I’m no longer ‘sitting on the fence’, an English expression which meant I wasn’t sure which side I was on. These days I feel cool about the existence of God, but it’s taken me 50 years to get there.

In my childhood I never questioned God, Jesus or the Saints as taught to us by the Roman Catholic religion. I dutifully went through my First Communion at age 6, was confirmed in my early teens and went to confession every week. My education from 7 to 17 was at a Catholic Convent and in the early days God was my friend, I used to love going into the church and having a ‘chat’ with God but by the time I was 18 I began to question His existence and stopped going to Church altogether.

Instead of reading the Bible I read lots of science fiction books that celebrated the brain and made no mention of God or how life started, they only looked at a technological future where the body held a minimal place.

In my 30s and 40s I started to explore New Age modalities. Many of them referred to a mystical higher power but avoided using the word ‘God’ which suited me fine because I was happy to refer to ‘The Universe’ or ‘The Source’ and other non-specific names as a way of explaining the something-bigger-than-us that I could sense but not fully define.

In my mid 50s I met philosopher and author Serge Benhayon who presented God in a very matter of fact way and it blew me away because so much of what he said made sense. It was very different from the stories I’d been fed as a child where I learned about a judgemental, angry God. Instead I learned that God is a truly loving being and we are all his equal children, with no ‘chosen’ ones because we are all the same in our deepest essence.

Despite there being, or maybe because of, the many different religions, most of us do not know that the same one God exists as a fact of life for all of us, regardless of what we believe or what religion we belong to. I found that reassuring.

We’ve all heard about free will and interpret the words in many different ways to suit our lifestyle but I have since learned that the free will God gave us was the freedom to choose what energy we align to and that energy is what gives us our thoughts and drives our actions.

‘Everything is energy’Albert Einstein

‘Everything is because of energy’Serge Benhayon

It was pretty mind-blowing for me to learn that my thoughts don’t originate from my brain, that they are fed through me from either one of only two outside sources of energy and that what I say is either harming or healing depending on which source I choose.

I can feel this for myself: if I am deeply connected to my body, what I express feels true and is exactly what needs to be said in that moment whereas if I am not connected, what I say is often laced with emotions or laced with judgement and that feels horrible.

I love the feeling that we are all connected and the understanding that every single move we make, every breath we take affects everyone on the planet. We are indeed all one and energetic responsibility is important.

There is a lot more for me to feel and learn. When Serge Benhayon talks about God I can understand and feel that what he presents is a truth because it is so totally in his body. I am unable to present with such clear conviction because most of my life has been lived through my mind and for me God is a mental concept not yet a full physical experience.

I need to live in a way that does not dull my awareness. My body knows Truth and I need to allow myself to feel it in full and then I can express what is there. My mind can repeat any number of words that I have heard but if they are not also part of my lived experience then they will be just empty words.

So although I am cool with knowing and accepting in my mind that God exists, I still have to experience God directly in my body.

“God is light and God is love, both of which are one and the same source of emanating truth. These qualities cannot be felt in the mind.”

Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 213

Further Reading:

  1. Who or what is God by Carmel Reid
  2. Unimedpedia: God

 

 

Abuse in Communication

 

Photography by Carmel Reid
Photography by Carmel Reid

We have developed a way of communicating in our society that we have come to accept as normal but when we explore it in detail, there is a lot of abuse that we ignore, don’t recognise or don’t know how to deal with.

What type of communication is abusive?

Most of us have different ways of speaking depending on whom we are addressing and how much we feel free to express our deeper feelings or our dominating emotions. We are polite to a stranger but with friends, family and in some workplaces there can be a level of abuse that should not be considered acceptable. Unloving words, tone of voice and body language are just as harmful psychologically as physical violence is on the body and long term psychological abuse can lead to mental and physical illness.

Here are some examples of abusive communication that I’m sure most of us have experienced:-

• Siblings speaking to each other in an argumentative way

• Parents talking to their children with frustration and no appreciation

• Teenagers being sulky, rude and uncooperative

• Friends being sarcastic or insulting making out that it’s funny

• A boss who is angry about something criticising everybody

• Drunken men and women staggering about and shouting in the street

• Couples bickering and sniping at each other

Most of us have come to accept this kind of abuse as part of everyday life, not knowing that it doesn’t have to be that way, and that we can all treat each other with decency and respect no matter what. It may take some years of introspection to change the way we are but it can be done if we are motivated to change.

We all know that abuse begets abuse so where does it start?

Let’s look at one of the most insidious forms of abuse and that is self-abuse: i.e. what we inflict upon ourself through our own internal communication, how we think about our self, how we speak about our self, and how we treat our own bodies.

Many of us are constantly criticising our self from the moment we get up and look in the mirror. It goes from picking holes in our appearance to apologising for all the things we think we did wrong throughout our day.

Where does this come from? 

I can only speak for myself…
I was brought up as a Catholic and we were all told that we were born with ‘Original Sin’. Not only that, we had to go to confession every week to confess our daily misdemeanours and were told to say three Hail Marys and two Our Fathers in order to atone for our sins. There was never a mention of appreciation of our delicate beauty and the qualities we brought to life, only the things we did wrong.

For me that self-abusive feeling of constantly being wrong followed me well into adulthood, and I would assume that if somebody reacted to what I’d said or done that it was somehow my fault. If something went wrong, I would apologise and I’m not alone – there are many men and women who apologise all the time, even when something is not their fault!

We can all communicate with our self in a negative way, for example, looking at food that we use to numb our feelings: we may criticise our self for eating unhealthy foods but there is insufficient self love to want to truly nourish our self, so it is an ongoing cycle of abuse – eat, feel guilty, eat to numb the guilt, feel guilty again.

The criticism we communicate to our self can be about the bad things we think we have done, or the flaws in our appearance, our speech, our home, and our relationships. Every single time we speak or think that way, it is like sticking pins in a VooDoo doll – we are hurting our self, cursing our self with our negative self-talk.

Instead of all that internal abuse, we could make space to appreciate the qualities we bring to the world, the values that we live by and the way our bodies move and support us no matter what. There is much to appreciate in our self and in each other and that is what will change the world.

Once we stop the internal abusive communication, we can begin to value and appreciate our self and then there is no way we will accept any level of abuse from another or towards another.

With more confidence in our self and what we feel, we are able to stand up, call the abuse for what it is, no longer accepting any kind of abusive communication as normal.

We can also role model how to treat people with decency and respect by how we are with others in our everyday communications.

“Not adoring another is abuse.”
– Serge Benhayon –

“Not adoring our self is abuse!”
– added by Gayle Cue

Further Reading:

(1) Understanding in Relationships  How Judgement leads to abuse

(2) Energetic Integrity and Energetic Responsibility

(3) How Do You Have Communication Without Reaction

Serge Benhayon – An Inspiring Presenter

Serge Benhayon
How can you write an article about a man who has affected your life in so many different ways?

Since meeting Serge Benhayon in 2005 my life has changed dramatically. You could look at photographs of me in 2005 and now in 2017 and see some obvious differences: first of all you would see that I’m half the size that I was, not in height but in terms of weight, and the heaviness that has gone is emotional as well as physical as I have gradually de-stressed my life.

Serge lives in a way that is very healthy psychologically as well as physically and all his presentations are an explanation of how he lives and what he knows about the world and us in it. He is a teacher, a philosopher and a religious leader, but not in the way you might think. The religion he presents and lives, The Way of The Livingness, is for all of humanity and is based on a lineage known as the Ageless Wisdom. It is an ancient way that touches on our relationships, how we eat, drink and sleep, every aspect of our lives.

Without repeating word for word what I have heard him say over the last 12 years, I can say that it has changed my perception of what happens in relationships and the choices that we make. It has given me greater understanding of what is happening in my body when I am ill. It has enabled me to take responsibility for everything that happens in my life because now I know that everything around me is a reflection of every single choice I have ever made. This is borne out by the fact that as I have taken greater care of my body and opened myself up to love I am now at the age of 67 in a new country and in a new relationship.

Not only does Serge present information that is relevant to each one of us as individuals, he also explains what is happening on a world wide scale and his presentations are all encompassing, by that I mean they apply to all of us, all of humanity. From this I am beginning to understand how the way I live affects all of humanity, and that is inspiring me to take even more care of how tenderly I can breathe, speak and move.

He presents in the UK and Australia through talks, group workshops and healing courses and is a prolific author, having written 9 books with more in the pipeline. One of the most recent projects Serge has embarked on is presenting an Internet-based TV series, Serge Benhayon TV.

In each episode, Serge is interviewed by Rebecca Asquith or Professor William Foley and he talks about men and women, domestic violence, intelligence, the way we live and many other aspects of our lives. This has made his teachings more accessible on a world-wide scale so that anyone with access to the Internet can hear him speak. The initiative is supported by a team of dedicated professionals.

The way Serge Benhayon presents is by first of all treating us as absolute equals, because he knows that we all have access to the same information through our own bodies, and he is constantly reminding us that he is not special, just making different choices.

The second thing that makes Serge Benhayon an inspiring presenter is that he absolutely lives what he presents, he walks his talk and he talks his walk – he speaks truth with an authority that resonates deep within all of us. Many of his audience have commented that it ‘feels like coming home’.

Some people don’t like what Serge presents because they can feel they are not living that way and don’t want to change, and he respects that. For me it is an absolute truth, I don’t always choose the healthy option, sometimes I resist changing my ways, but when I do honour what feels true for myself within, I feel great.

No matter what choices we make, Serge Benhayon consistently holds all equally and never gives up on anyone. He is always supportive, and for me he is the most inspiring presenter I know and I always look forward to his events.

The Power of Reflection in Relationships

Reflection
We can learn a great deal about ourselves through the reflections provided in all our relationships because as we express in whatever way we do, other people respond, react or do nothing and that gives us an opportunity to reflect on what and how we just expressed as well as observing our follow-up reaction, if there is any.

For example, if we get a reaction of stubborn silence, it increases our frustration levels but we need to understand what is going on for the other person, be they teenage son or daughter, lifetime partner, friend or work colleague, we can feel into why they are being so stubborn. We can choose to explore what is it about our expression that they have reacted to.

Was our voice laced with judgement?
Did we speak in a way that dishonoured them?
Is there something going on for them that we have ignored?

We have a tendency to judge other people because they are not like us; they do not think like us, and we forget that what is important to us may be of no consequence to them. That can be both incomprehensible and frustrating.

We want control, especially in terms of timing, wanting something done NOW and they may not feel like doing it just yet… or at all.

We can be abusive when we judge others, and that harms everybody including ourselves. If we can develop our sensitivity, develop appreciation in all our relationships, that helps to remove any judgement and opens us up to making beautiful connections with everyone regardless of who they are.

This means that our first relationship is with ourselves, understanding who we are and why we react in certain situations.

Have you ever noticed how someone speaks to you in exactly the same way your mother or father or teacher did? Life keeps presenting us with these reflections over and over again until we get it. Wherever we move to in the world, issues we had with neighbours, work colleagues, and family re-create themselves in our relationships in the new location.

For example,

• A parent who ‘never listened to us’ can set us up with a pattern of feeling unloved, so when our partner or boss doesn’t listen to us, we feel the same hurt.

• Childhood arguments with our siblings get recreated amongst close work colleagues

• We tried to please our parents by changing our behaviour (being ‘good’) and this pattern repeats with friends, work colleagues and partners. We are not being truly ourselves so it does not bring any satisfaction or fulfillment, and we are disappointed when we are not fully appreciated.

Relationships give us an opportunity to truly evolve as we learn and grow with other people. Everywhere we go there are other people and that means we have lots of different encounters, and they are all ‘relationships’. The trick for us is to be consistently open, appreciative and non-judgemental with everybody, bringing the same quality of being to everyone we meet, whether family, work colleague, friend or stranger.

Building Relationships by Letting go of Judgement

IMG_7181Judgement is something we all do, but how much does it truly help us to evolve? Does any form of judgement ever help us to build relationships?

Judgement is something we all experience in school, and at home, from our parents and all the authority figures who think that correcting us is helping us to learn. In fact what happens when we are judged and criticised is that we shrink and do less, and cement the idea that we are never quite Good Enough. It rocks our self-worth.

On the other hand, appreciation inspires us to expand and be more. It is the polar opposite of judgment – if we truly appreciate someone, it is impossible for us to judge them, but what is true appreciation?

We all like to be appreciated, but it is usually about the things we do for others, for example:-
• Giving flowers
• Washing up after a meal
• Helping with a difficult job
• Supporting when they are down

When we appreciate what other people do, is it true appreciation, or is it gratitude? Are we making out that they are better than us? That is not equal and true appreciation brings equality to all.

What about the qualities we bring? For example,
• Integrity
• Honesty
• Warmth
• Nurturing
• Caring
• Strength of Character
• Steadiness
• Stability
• Sense of humour
• Patience
• Tenderness
• Vulnerability

When we look at the qualities we bring, it doesn’t matter what we do. If we can feel and appreciate these qualities in ourselves then it becomes easier to see them reflected in others, and confirming what we feel helps us to build trust in our relationships with partners, siblings, children, parents, friends and colleagues, because we see and feel everybody as equals.

When it comes to expression, we can appreciate that everyone has a different view on life and they have a different way of doing things. If we are open to listening without judgement we can consider what they say or do and we don’t have to agree, but there will be something in there for us to learn if we are open to it and that’s what we can appreciate.

Together we form a whole, and everybody has a part to play, like ants who are great at working in Brotherhood – we are not alone, we cannot do it alone, we need everybody’s input.

We all express differently. We are all at various stages of awareness and everybody’s expression is valid, including people who are angry or who we don’t like. They are reflecting back to us something that is within us, albeit in a lesser way, or they are showing us how we have allowed the world to become by not speaking up when we see something that doesn’t feel true. Our appreciation of everyone’s expression is important and we can do it by feeling their essence, knowing that an angry expression is not truly them. We can learn from it rather than be angry ourselves, which does nothing except hide our own sadness.

There is the potential for anger in all of us, not one of us is perfect, mood-free, or always polite, because we all have negative thoughts and reactions that happen in our day too.

Instead of judging, we can choose to accept and appreciate that we are not perfect, and that everything and everyone around us is reflecting lessons for us to learn from, and that helps us to evolve. Through acceptance and appreciation we are confirming everyone and building more lasting relationships that we can trust.

Here is a link to an article with philosopher Serge Benhayon talking about the Science of Appreciation.

Being An Older Woman in the World

IMG_8517Photograph by Iris Pohl

There is a tendency in Western society to dismiss women as weaker and especially for our young to see an older woman as ‘just a lonely old grandma’ and to dismiss years of experience, all the lessons they’ve learned throughout their long lives, and any wisdom they may have to offer.

What happens when we become older? Do we just get old and bent and forgetful, like so many women we have seen in our society? Many women feel they are useless and give up, and go about their daily lives walking in a way that leaves them permanently bent.

I knew one very alert old lady in her 90s who still had the mind of a twenty-year old and kept making herself ill because she forgot that her body was not twenty. She would do physical things that were way beyond her actual capability but she lived on her own and didn’t like to ask for help.

In fact many of us women do things that are beyond our physical capability – I have seen many women carrying heavy bags of shopping, wielding heavy garden tools, and generally pushing themselves way beyond what they are physically capable of.

Our bodies are very strong and can deal with a lot, and in my case I considered myself equal to any man, I didn’t lift such heavy weights at the gym, but I played squash, which is a hard, fast, physical game and drove myself pretty hard in whatever work I did and I chaired committees and did voluntary work in my spare time. I would often lift heavy things, and thought nothing of it. In fact, recently, packing up my possessions prior to moving to Australia, I packed all the boxes to a weight of 15 – 20 Kgs because I felt that was a weight I could carry. That’s the weight of a very full suitcase – and there was a cost.

I ended up with a prolapse and had to have a hysterectomy to repair it, after which I was given dire warnings about lifting any weight over 2Kg for the rest of my life. It was a big wake up call as to how I’d been living and just how much I had pushed myself and what weights I had made my body carry. It showed me how I had totally ignored my natural fragility and delicateness.

There was another aspect to my being a woman and that was how we are in relationships as we age. I had been through the menopause when I was 49, and was enjoying the freedom of no more periods, but was aware that I’d developed an anxiousness I don’t remember being there before. I also lost interest in sex. At the time of my prolapse, I was 66, and had been ‘celibate’ for at least fifteen years, and with a new relationship in the offing, was concerned about how the physical side of the relationship would turn out.

There is an assumption that as we get older, that our libido drops, and everything dries up. That certainly appeared to be the case when I was in my early 50s just after the menopause. I was obese, weighing 98Kgs, feeling very ugly, with very low self esteem.

I came across Universal Medicine when I was 54 and learned a lot about how the way I’d been living was hurting my body, and that included the food I ate, the attitudes I held, and the way I moved. Over the next 12 years I refined my diet, and my weight returned to just over 50Kgs with very little effort. I have de-stressed my way of living and working so that a hyperactive thyroid I was suffering from returned to normal.

I attended Sacred Esoteric Healing courses, and the therapies offered by Universal Medicine practitioners helped me a great deal. For example, through the Esoteric Breast Massage, I began to be more aware of the hardness that was in my chest, as a result of the way I’d been living, and I could experience glimpses of the tenderness that lay just underneath. I also started to recognise the power that women have when they bring that tenderness into society along with an innate stillness. For me the Esoteric Yoga has been a beautiful way to connect with my body and to move with stillness.

During the preparation before my hysterectomy operation and during the recovery period after, I was careful what I ate so that my digestive system was not compromised, and I used the Gentle Breath Meditation to keep myself calm and relaxed. A friend visited me in hospital and gave me an Esoteric Arm Massage which felt very nurturing.

I was given some gentle Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy exercises to do that enabled to me stay in touch with my tenderness, gently exercising my muscles and allowing scar tissue to repair itself without risk of further damage. I was very careful to follow the surgeon’s advice and the physiotherapist’s instructions, including not pushing when I went to the toilet, something I often did in the past when I was in a hurry.

When I returned home, I took great care with my body and I am pleased to say that my recovery went well. I have been careful to not lift heavy weights, for example, I had the boxes packed by the shipping company and asked for help with my suitcases when I travelled to Australia. Since then I have been careful to let go of the old push and drive, and I am living in a far more delicate way than before, continuing to develop my tenderness and sensitivity.

Not only am I living as the truly delicate and fragile woman I am, I am delighted to report that, now the relationship is in full progress, everything in my body is working fine, I am rediscovering myself as a truly ‘sexy’ woman, capable of fully living in the world and capable of a full physical relationship, despite my age.

Although my Australian visa does not allow me to work as an employee, I have been invited to join several voluntary projects where my innate steadiness and my years of experience are appreciated, and I will be able to make a valuable contribution in my local community and a worldwide digital community as well.

Mine is only one example, when it comes to Women’s Health – there are many hundreds of women of all ages that I know, who have turned their lives around and are living with a vitality, confidence and innate sexiness; they are powerful yet tender, busy but with an inner stillness, moving everywhere with grace and in relationships that are ever deepening.

It feels great to be an older woman in the world!

Self Care

RedRose

When I first heard about Self Care, I didn’t really know what it meant. In my mind it meant dressing well, making sure your hair was tidy, making your bed, keeping your room clean, so everything looked good. I have since found out that there is a whole lot more to those two little words.

I’ve learned that it is not just about activities to create an image, it’s a whole way of living that puts yourself first, before anyone else. ‘But that’s being selfish!’ you might cry, and that’s what I thought – at first. But I’ve since learned that if we look after ourselves first, then we (a) set a good example for others, especially our children, and (b) we are less exhausted and can then have more energy to support everyone else. Self Care is about a quality of living that keeps us in touch with our bodies and learns from the messages our bodies are constantly giving us.

For example, if we have a backache, it could be from the way we are sitting or standing at work. We may need to check our posture, our seat shape, the hours we are in just one position, the way we move, bend and stretch. Have we exercised enough to build up our supporting muscles?

We all have a responsibility to make sure that we are fit for work, and that leads to the question, Are we fit for life? How can we ensure that we have optimum physical and mental health so that we can move with confidence in every situation, have great relationships with family, friends and work colleagues, and find joy in everything we do? Sounds idealistic? Yes, but not impossible because we can make many choices in the way we live that can bring about positive changes in all aspects of our lives.

Different types of self care can include how we Eat, Sleep, Exercise, Talk, and Think.

One great stress in the workplace is suffering at the hands of what we see as poor management decisions, that perhaps did not take into account the needs of each employee, for example, hospitals making doctors work long shifts without proper sleep. We can get steamed up about it, we can accept it, or we can do something about it.

If we can do something about it, then it needs to be done in a matter of fact way. One of the things that exhausts us is getting emotional about issues we feel we have no control over. We talk to all our friends and colleagues in a moaning type of voice, they agree with us and we all disappear in a downward spiral of negativity. That serves no-one. Being practical like finding a way to reflect our awareness back to management, offering statistics that show the consequences of their decision, presenting facts in a non-emotional way, without judgment, gives them more of an opportunity to listen. It doesn’t always work and we can present the facts and they will still be ignored, but at least we tried, and can look for other ways of getting the message across.

In situations where we have no choice but to do what is asked, we might feel irritated or annoyed, but one of the phrases that I’ve found helps me is to say ‘That’s just the way it is.’ It hurts to bat your head against a brick wall. We do need to express what we feel, but indulging in emotional reactions just wears everybody down. A colleague once asked me how I responded when someone was rude to me. This can be a typical customer service situation in any industry. For me I have learned not to take things personally, and I try to understand that perhaps they are having a bad day, or something is really wrong, but it’s not actually my fault, I am not wrong, but they are having an emotional reaction to something and directing it at me. It feels awful, but if I don’t react, if I calmly ask for more information and develop my understanding of the situation, they may also calm down, especially as someone is truly listening to them.

So for me one example of self care is learning to respond and not react in difficult situations.

If you would like to read more on Self Care, the Unimed Living Self Care web pages have articles that may be of interest, there are audios and self care quotes for you to enjoy.

 

Clairsentience, Decisions and Choices

RainbowHow we can use our sixth sense 

“Clairsentience is the ability to not override what you feel is true.”

Serge Benhayon Esoteric & Exoteric Philosophy, p 36

We have many ways of making decisions in life, some people can make a snap decision, with an instant knowing and others like to deliberate and ponder before they make any kind of choice.

We make decisions or choices all day long, from choosing what time to get up, how well to brush our teeth and what to have for breakfast, to the bigger life changing decisions such as who to marry, what job to go for or where to live.

On what factors do we base our decisions and choices?
Some are based on external factors and we may feel that we have no choice, such as having to get up at six to go to work. Others will be based on our thoughts, our ideals, and our beliefs about the world and how we should be in it, for example in choosing what to wear to look right for an occasion.

For some people the decision they make will be based entirely on what they feel, and that is where Clairsentience comes in.

Some people call it a Gut Feeling or intuition, but true Clairsentience is more than that. Described in Unimed Living’s Unimedpedia as the ability to clearly feel energy, Clairsentience is a whole body experience that is over and above our five physical senses

We humans are incredibly sensitive, we feel a lot, all day, although we often do things to dull that awareness, such as overeat or distract ourselves with TV and Social Media. When we are open to feeling what is going on, we have an added sense, the 6th Sense, that enables us to make decisions that are true.

For example, in choosing what clothes to wear, with greater awareness we can choose not only what colour or style suits our expression for the day, we may choose to wear the exact colour that our colleagues need to see that day in order to evolve. In other words, Clairsentience gives us the bigger picture.
In the work environment employees often complain about decisions that management have made. There may be a general feeling that corporate decisions are made based on greed, the need for higher profit, reducing costs, and the employees’ needs are not being fully considered. In other words, those making the decisions are not feeling the bigger picture, not using Clairsentience in their decision-making. If they were, then everyone’s needs would be felt and considered, not just the shareholders.

Companies sometimes make products that we do not actually need but with clever marketing we think we do and buy them anyway. This can be food and drink that is not healthy, toys, gadgets, all manner of things. What if a company decided what products to make based on what humanity needs rather than what sells?

Outside of the corporate world, what if politicians made decisions based on what their country needed rather than what gets them votes?

If we were all using our Clairsentience we cannot but make great decisions, because our feeling would naturally be all encompassing, i.e. taking everybody into account. Many of us make decisions based on our personal needs and desires, but when we allow ourselves to truly feel, we can feel all of humanity, and everything we choose is based on benefit to all.

Further Reading: Unimed Living’s Unimedpedia has an article on Clairsentience that contains quotes and audio snippets from modern day philosopher Serge Benhayon http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-clairsentience.html