Esoteric Healing

We are all familiar with the word ‘Healing’ and depending on our interests it may have many meanings: our bodies ‘heal’ from wounds and Jesus ‘healed the sick’. If we have been into the New Age there are hundreds of different healing therapies using words, sound, crystals, prayer, invocations, trees, breath, hands on, hands off, movement, meditation, water, muscle bending, you name it, somebody invented it. Healing is usually assumed to mean making something get ‘better’, often assumed to be by the application of an external force or influence from a ‘Healer’.

This is where the word ‘Esoteric’ comes in; its simplest meaning is ‘innermost’ that is, what is within us, our own bodies, physically and energetically.

Esoteric Healing is the application of a science in which a person is inspired to release all the energetic blocks that are getting in the way of them expressing in full the multidimensional being that they innately and naturally are. It applies the fact of everything being energy affecting everything in the body and that if any part of the body is not working in harmony, then the whole person is affected. It works with energy knowing that every part of the body relates to an aspect of a person’s life because our feelings, emotions, experiences, behaviours and choices energetically affect certain parts of the body.

The body can be read by an experienced Esoteric Practitioner who gently lays their hands on the fully clothed body. That offers an opportunity for developing awareness and then the healing is done after the session by the client themselves, because it is always the client’s choice how much they can let go and how they live after each EsotericHealing session.

Esoteric Healing is not a new ‘fad’; there is a long history of Esoteric Healing from the Ancient Egyptians, Ancient Greeks, Persians, Essenes, Cathars, and more recently, the students of Universal Medicine.

I was one of those New Age seekers, dabbling in homoeopathy, kinesiology, Tai Chi, Rebirthing, Reiki and ‘Spiritual’ healing therapies as a client but nothing truly helped me. It was not until 2005 when I met Serge Benhayon and embarked on the Sacred Esoteric Healing courses with Universal Medicine that I felt a huge difference in my life. I found receiving Esoteric Healing very relaxing and calming and I felt able to let go of many old patterns of behaviour that had been leaving me stressed and exhausted for most of my life.

I became more aware of how we can harm people by energetically imposing ourselves on them, physically with our touch and our presence and also with the way we speak in harsh or angry tones. As a practitioner-in-training I found that breathing gently helped me to connect deep within my own body before tenderly laying my hands on anyone

I also learned the importance of how I was living 24/7 because that affected the energy I presented to any client. The Way of The Livingness is a continuing process of refining how we are living and I have become much more aware of myself throughout my day as well as how I go to sleep, it is an all-encompassing way of being. The ‘esoteric’ side to this is living connected to our innermost and using what we feel inside as guidance rather than allowing our minds to run the show. Having spent most of my life thinking and being intellectual, I found this a challenge, but I appreciate the wisdom of my body for it always knows Truth, it never lies.

As a client of Esoteric Healing, I have found the sessions truly supportive. My body is fully trusting of the process and as soon as I lay down on the table I surrender. It wasn’t always like that. Before I used to live in a very buzzy way and even lying down my mind would be busy with millions of different thoughts. Gradually over time I have been able to feel my body from deep within and let my mind be with my body and I can relax.

Before Universal Medicine I was of the opinion that I was somehow ‘wrong’ and needed ‘fixing’ but with Esoteric Healing I am learning to feel the equal being of light that we all are inside, and to see how we have all dulled ourselves with layers of protection. What Esoteric Healing supports us to do is to let go of those layers and let our light shine through in full.

It is a beautiful therapy for men and women of all ages. Esoteric Healing is supporting us in our return to our former glory.

Further Reading

  1. Frequently asked Questions about Esoteric Healing 
  2. Universal Medicine website for details of courses
  3. Esoteric Practitioners Association for information on therapies, practitioners, clinics and Code of Ethics

Corruption is a World-Wide Plague

Photograph by Carmel Reid

Wherever you are in the world if you have large corporations, the chances are there is corruption.

The current corporate model is geared towards creating maximum profits for shareholders to receive a good return on their investment and the CEO’s of these companies are paid a high income based on their ability to perform in a way that maximises these profits. When there is little or no regard for how these ends are achieved, you get corruption.

The first time I really understood corruption was some years ago researching for a debate on Genetically Modified (GM) foods and I came across a company called Monsanto.

Monsanto, as far as I could establish, were trying to create seeds for crops that were resistant to insects and diseases and they succeeded but the seeds they produced were only allowed to be used once.

My understanding of third world countries was that people who grew grain, each year at harvest time they would preserve 10% of the grain for replanting next season’s crops. In the case of Monsanto grain, the farmers were not allowed to stockpile any grain and were obliged to buy again from Monsanto year after year. To add to my horror at this, I recently found out that a farmer whose crop had been inadvertently contaminated by Monsanto seeds, was asked by Monsanto to pay their technology fee.

I have been appalled at the whole attitude of appearing to care whilst at the same time maximizing profits for the shareholders – it is totally against humanity. Many shareholders don’t bother to question these unethical practices, they are happy to just accept the dividends not realising that in doing so they divest themselves of responsibility to their fellow man.

Here is another example: I used to love drinking Coca-Cola when I was a child but I have learned so many things about the company that I won’t touch the stuff now. Apart from the fact that it is full of sugar and chemicals that make it a great toilet cleaner, and it used to contain cocaine (but no longer), for me there are ethical concerns about the way it is made.

In a recent report Coca-Cola were claiming how well they are doing with their water consumption, going from using more than 2 litres to make a litre of cola down to 1.7 litres in the next two years.

For me the only drink we really need is water and the fact that Coca-Cola use almost twice the amount of water to make one litre of a drink that is unnecessarily full of sugar and chemicals is appalling.

It is not just these two companies, if you use the Internet and search using the words ‘World’ and ‘Corruption’ you will find a plethora of reports on the weapons industry, pharmaceuticals, alcohol, tobacco, any industry you can name.

This corruption can take many forms: paying low wages, destroying natural resources, lobbying political parties and governments so that laws get passed in their favour, lying about future plans, paying millions in bribes, and creaming off large amounts of money to further line the pockets of people who are already rich, investing in research where they have direct control of the results, sponsoring medical schools so that their pharmaceutical products get promoted, starting unrest and wars in order to sell weapons, and then bombing a country to get the rebuilding contracts. These are just a few examples, pretty much every industry in every country has some level of corruption.

How did we get to this dreadful state of affairs and what can we do about it?

We can do more than we realise. It feels overwhelming because we have stood by and said nothing for so many centuries that the momentum of world-wide corruption feels impossible to stop single-handed. Together we can all contribute to the much-needed change.

Many of us invest money in banks, savings accounts, building societies, funds, insurance, premium bonds, and other financial institutions as well as directly holding shares, and we cannot ignore our responsibility. We buy products from companies without consideration for how they look after their employees, for example Amazon has a reputation for delivering a fast service, but there are many stories from employees of poor treatment. The clothes trade is well known for its slave labour, as is chocolate, coffee and tea. We have a choice – we can choose not to buy from these companies.

We can also look to our own lives, on the basis that the outside world reflects the inner; we can look at what we are doing that is on a small scale, but corruption nevertheless.

I reflected on something I did when walking the dog recently. I dutifully picked up the dog poo in the recyclable plastic bag but then decided to walk a little further to dump the bag in the park litter bins rather than have it festering in our own bin.

A few days earlier I had been horrified at the story of a nuclear power plant in one part of the UK shifting tons of radioactive sand away from their site into the water just off the Welsh Coast6. But here I was doing the same thing – instead of taking responsibility for living with and disposing of my own rubbish, I dumped it elsewhere in the local park bin.

Another example of greed for me is in food – at a micro level many of us binge eat, eating more than our body needs, or sometimes taking a bigger portion than others. This is a micro reflection of what happens in the corporate world: companies do the same, take more than their share, take more than they need, and do not see us all as a whole with everything to be shared equally.

For me the way to stop corruption is to show that there is another way, to live and work in brotherhood in our local neighbourhood.

We can protest in many ways: by signing petitions, by posting reports far and wide, and whistle blowers exist but are often silenced. The corruption is so huge it will be centuries before it stops altogether, but that needn’t stop us looking at our own lives and knowing that how we live as individuals now will truly make a difference in the years to come.

Further Reading:

  1. https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2008/05/monsanto200805
  2. http://www.seattleorganicrestaurants.com/vegan-whole-food/Monsanto-corruption-gmo.php
  3. https://www.coca-colacompany.com/stories/setting-a-new-goal-for-water-efficiency(2018)
  4. https://www.coca-colacompany.com/stories/collaborating-to-replenish-the-water-we-use(2018)
  5. https://www.greenbiz.com/article/coca-cola-and-bottlers-achieve-replenishment-all-water-they-use(2016)
  6. https://penarthnews.wordpress.com/2018/09/11/in-the-dark-the-first-2000-tons-of-pollution-is-dumped-off-penarth/




Intelligence is not what we think


All my life I have been proud of my intelligence: my mother celebrated it and it was part of my self worth, knowing I was OK because I was intelligent. But was I brought up on a lie?



What actually is True Intelligence?



In 1983 an American developmental psychologist Howard Gardener described 9 types of intelligence [1]:

  • Naturalist(nature smart)
  • Musical(sound smart)
  • Logical-mathematical(number/reasoning smart)
  • Existential(life smart)
  • Interpersonal(people smart)
  • Bodily-kinesthetic(body smart)
  • Linguistic(word smart)
  • Intra-personal(self smart)
  • Spatial(picture smart)

A lot of people have cashed in on different intelligences, particularly Emotional Intelligence, which is about how we handle our emotions [2], but I am learning now that there is a greater intelligence than the one we use in our brain and that’s the full intelligence of the body [3] – and I don’t mean just being good at sport.

Our body is feeling energy all of the time. Sometimes we are aware of it and sometimes we are not, but what we feel in our bodies helps us to read situations and to understand what is going on in the world around us. We are all born with this sensitivity and ability but many of us shut it down because of reactions from others, for example, if we expressed something from what we felt in our body at a very early age we might have been told ‘nonsense dear, you’re too young to understand’ or adults became angry with us for speaking a truth they didn’t want to hear, so we learned to keep quiet. Many of us learned to conform and adapted to what we thought other people wanted, and that is how schools are run. We are expected to learn according to a curriculum, not according to what we feel inspired to learn.

In my case I don’t have a very good memory. History for me at school was a nightmare as I couldn’t remember dates. Latin was the same, it is a dead language and so I had difficulty remembering the meanings of words. French and German I could do because I had opportunities to practise speaking with French and German people. Maths and Science were great, because they made sense to me and I could work things out, I didn’t have to remember anything. I wasn’t particularly good at sport. Most of us can go through the list above and pick out the ones we think we are good at and the ones we are not. I have good spatial awareness, good logical/mathematical, and good interpersonal skills.

These intelligences are linked to the human brain and thinking and now I am learning that there is a totally different intelligence that comes through our body [4]. It is an intelligence that applies in all walks of life and has more to do with feeling what is going on in our body, connecting deep within and listening to every single message that is there. These messages are amazingly accurate.

Sometimes they are physical, telling me that what I am doing or about to do will be harming to me in some way, and sometimes the messages are like an impulse, saying you need to go to this place, or that place. When I follow the impulse and I go there, without fail there is always someone I need to meet, or something I needed to see. The constellations are definitely not luck or co-incidental.

There is more: when I allow myself to feel what is going on in my body, I find that I can read situations in relationships and have a definite sense of what is going on. As my awareness develops, the ability to read evolves and that helps me to understand and let go of judgement in many different situations I’d previously have found challenging.

What is not so intelligent is that although I know that I need to make sure my body is clear enough to let this natural intelligence through, I tend to eat or engage in distracting activities that dull my sensitivity. It is a work in progress to make different choices and truly nourish this delicate sensing instrument, and I am slowly refining the foods I eat in order to enable that process.

When it comes to speaking one to one and in groups, whereas before I used to think what to say, I am learning to allow the words to come through my body – this is a whole different process, to let go of trying and instead allowing.

Sometimes I feel an impulse to write a blog or a simple post on Facebook. What amazes me is that there is always someone who says ‘great timing’ or ‘I really needed to read this today’. As with going to a place where someone is there whom I need to meet, the words that came through were constellated in answer to a wider question.

This is not about me, this is about humanity, because true intelligence is a skill we all have but don’t use. We are surrounded by intelligence, energy is around us all the time, it pours through us, and we don’t actually have any original thoughts of our own, because all our thoughts are impulsed by whatever energy we have allowed through. Whether those thoughts are healing or harming depends on the energy we align ourselves to.  We have the ability to choose everything that happens in our lives and it is our choices, everyone’s choices that makes us truly intelligent or not.

  1. https://blog.adioma.com/9-types-of-intelligence-infographic/
  2. Mindfulness: A Fascination of Mind Over Body
  3. Serge Benhayon TV Episode 1 Whole Body Intelligence
  4. Serge Benhayon: True Intelligence Comes From Our Body

The Lineage – Our True History

If you did geometry in maths at school, the chances are that you have heard of Pythagoras. He understood a lot about numbers and one of his theorems enables us to work out the sides of a right angled triangle: the square on the hypotenuse equals the sum of the squares on the other two sides. His mathematical teachings have remained with us since the 5thcentury BCE.

What is perhaps less well known is that he was also a well-respected Philosopher, and what he taught inspired many philosophers still to this day and contributed a great deal to society in general.

As well as being interested in the Cosmos (Universe) Pythagoras presented an ethical way of life that valued men and women as absolute equals. He taught about reincarnation and that our connection to our body is what bridges our connection with the Soul and prepares us for our next life.

Avoid foods forbidden, reflect, that this contributes to cleanliness

And redemption of your soul; This all, Oh, consider;

Let reason, the gift divine, be thy highest guide;

Then should you be separated from the body, and soar in the spiritual aether,        

Then will you be imperishable, a divinity, no longer a human!                            

The Golden Verses 68-711

He taught about relationships and how to be with each other in life, yet history tells us he was simply a mathematician. The focus on just the mathematical aspect of his work is a form of reductionism, a mis-representation of what he actually shared with humanity.

Pythagoras is not alone when it comes to being mis-represented or ignored in history. Throughout time, whilst Humanity has continued to fight wars and dis-respect each other in a multitude of ways, there have always been wise men and women who have lived amongst us and shown us a way of living that was contrary to norms of the day.

They taught that living from the Inner Heart is the most ethical way of being but their message was rarely well received at the time, with torture and or death meted upon anyone who went against the ‘comfortable’ thinking of the day.  Over time, their wisdom has been lost and their words skewed, either through re-interpretation or deification, so that us mere mortals are taught that we are not equal to that same source of wisdom.

These men and women were teachers, bakers, philosophers, famers, known and unknown, make up The Lineage, all living and sharing the Golden Thread of the Ageless Wisdom. Their love of humanity has meant that regardless of risk, this Golden Thread has continued to be on offer throughout time. Wherever one philosophy school has been closed down, another has popped up elsewhere in the world.

What is the Ageless Wisdom that they presented?

It is the absolute knowledge that the truth of who we are can be accessed from within each and every one of us. Most of us are living in a way that so dulls our senses we find it hard to consistently connect to it or feel it at all.

Pythagoras taught it, as did Hermes, Patanjali and Zarathushtra before him but we are not taught about it in school. Buddha, Jeshua and Mohammed also presented the same message and the religions that they have inspired, pay lip service to the love and wisdom they offered.

In short, we have been lied to, either through omission or being taught a selective version of history, deliberately chosen to hide the Truth of who we are and how easily this truth can be accessed by anyone. Many of the religions talk about God but present Him as something separate from us, something we are not worthy of. The Ageless Wisdom teaches that God created souls to be his equal.

We think we are mere mortals, but that is what we have descended to. In reality  we are amazing, powerful beings who are pretending that we are not. We have descended into a creation of our own making and are living in the mess we made.

The evolution of humanity is not about more technology, or going out into Space, our evolution is about going within and reconnecting to that light. As Pythagoras taught, the Ageless Wisdom is accessible through our bodies, it is an endless source of absolute knowing that is available to all of us and has always been available. The more we attune our self to that connection, we can feel how to live, what to eat, how to speak  and how to be in all our relationships.

Our true human History is not the kings and queens that we learned about in school, or the men and women who fought battles to gain geographical areas and dominance over their fellow man. Our True History is the History of the Ageless Wisdom as presented from Hermes, Pythagoras and so many others throughout the centuries right through to our Modern Times, as well as all the deliberate acts designed to suppress it.


  1. The Golden Verses: https://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/The-Complete-Pythagoras.pdf#page92


What is True Family?

We may think our family are the people we are related to by blood, but it is wider than that, True Family is All of Us. True family includes everyone upon this planet, without exception.

That may seem a bit of a sweeping statement although in our deepest heart we know it to be true, because many of us have accepted a smaller version of family in order to survive.

When I was a small child I would play families with my mother’s button box, I also played with stones and with many other objects. I would group things by colour, by shape and by texture. Reflecting on that way of playing made me realise that is how we group people: we put together and respect people by colour or by features that are ‘familiar’, because they have something in common, they look alike, or they feel like someone we are comfortable with and can value. We discriminate even though in truth we are all equal.

We talk about blood ties being thicker than water but we all have the same DNA, the same blood flowing in our veins – we may have differing blood types but there is not Jones Family Blood or Smith Family blood, there is just blood in all of us. Whoever you are if you need blood in a hospital transfusion it is chosen by just a few Blood Types (A, AB, B or O). As a friend of mine recently said, even ‘Blue blood’ is red.

True Brotherhood is not yet ubiquitous, we tend to act differently depending on where we are and who we are with, for example, at work we might be professional and hardworking, in the supermarket we might be polite but distant and then when we are back in our families we let it all hang out, we collapse, let go of the polite exterior, and that’s where the greatest abuse can happen.

What some of us are learning, thanks to Universal Medicine is that True Family is about being the same one person with everybody regardless of whether we are at work or at home or anywhere in our local community. We can choose to be open and transparent, respectful and communicative with everyone we meet.

I was horrified the other day to observe two small boys speaking to each other in angry tones, the same tones I have heard their parents use – like many children they are learning by example, copying the adults around them. Children learn about life from their families, we all learn from our families, they are our first ‘school’ and that is why it is so important that a whole community accepts responsibility for raising children, so that they can learn to communicate with respect in their wider community and not accept any kind of abuse.

Many people think abuse in the home is acceptable, it is not, but I do understand why it happens, because living and working in close quarters with anybody brings up all our stuff and if we are not supported in knowing how to let go of our hurts without abusing another person, we tend to react with strong emotions and lose track of the need to treat everyone with respect and decency.

Abuse of any kind is not natural but we have come to accept it as normal. I am learning that to speak harshly with frustration to my partner is abuse. Speaking to him in any way that is not loving is abuse.

As the Bishop Michael Curry from Chicago said at a recent Royal Wedding,
‘When love is the way, there’s plenty good room – plenty good room – for all of God’s children. Because when love is the way, we actually treat each other, well … like we are actually family.
When love is the way, we know that God is the source of us all, and we are brothers and sisters, children of God.’

Being British I was brought up with the Royal Family as part of our culture, and they could be considered role models for us. I have seen the Queen in passing and I am the same age as Princess Anne but I don’t know any of them personally, I only know what I have seen of them on TV or in the press. I actually have no idea how they are with each other at home, they are certainly distant from each other in public.

In my own immediate family, boarding school set us apart and I learned to hold back and not let people in. I’m 67 now, nearly 68 and it has taken me a long time to get to a place where I can be open and transparent with everyone I meet. I love having hugs and I get more hugs from my friends than I ever did in my blood family, so I tend to consider my friends as family too.

When we look at humanity, the broader picture, in truth we are all one family, the family of human beings that inhabit this Earth. At the moment we live separate lives but the time is coming when we recognise each other by our essence and not by our colour, race or creed. The time is coming when we let go of our hurts and live in appreciation not judgement. The time is coming when we can treat each other with absolute respect and decency. The time is coming when we can all live the love that we are in true brotherhood where everybody is seen and felt as equal. This is our future and we can live that now, live as one true family, it is our choice.

Anxiousness and Speaking Out

microphone audience

“No way would I get up on stage and speak”

“My mind went completely blank”

“My heart races and my knees shake”

“What will they think?”

“I’m sure they think I’m stupid”

These are the thoughts that many of us have about speaking to one or more people, and especially when we have to speak to a large group.

We like to be liked and we like to be in control of situations. When we are speaking one-to-one it is easier to maintain control because we can watch their facial expression, we can read what they are thinking, and we can adjust what we say according to their reaction. When there is more than one we cannot be looking closely at everyone at the same time and we may miss valuable clues to their reaction. We are looking for reactions all the time, because that is what we experience in many of our relationships and therefore that is what we use to adapt our behaviour.

This way of being comes from an underlying anxiousness based on us needing external confirmation that we are OK.

Question: Why do we need this external confirmation?

Answer: Because we don’t know who we truly are.

We tend to identify ourselves with our roles and what we do in life, and see ourselves as just a human being with all our issues and problems… but we are so much more than that.

When we allow ourselves to be still and feel inside our bodies, we can feel a deeper sense of our being something greater than our physicality and we can know that what happens outside of us is simply a reflection of how we choose to live.

When we live in such a way that our bodies have stillness inside, i.e. no stimulants like coffee or sugar, no indulging in exciting dramas, we can actually feel what needs to be expressed in any situation. When we feel that impulse, it doesn’t matter what other people think, something needs to be expressed, we say it and then let it go, knowing that we’ve done what needed to be done.

Our anxiousness, our need to control, makes us ill. Some people develop mental health issues such as panic attacks or OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), some have palpitations that lead to ongoing heart disease, some have poor digestive systems, and there are many physical symptoms we don’t even realise that are caused by our underlying level of anxiousness.

When it comes to giving a presentation the way anxiousness affects us physically is that before we start we get butterflies in our stomach and may have sudden diarrhoea. Once we are in front of people we get shaky knees so that our whole body including our voice shakes, our minds can go blank, we forget what we wanted to say, and we can’t feel the audience so can’t feel what needs to be said. In other words, we lose our connection with our deeper selves, we are presenting without presence.

Presence means we are in touch with our bodies and living absolutely in each moment, not thinking of things past or future, simply being where we are right now, feeling our feet, feeling our bodies, feeling around us, sensing the audience and then saying whatever is there to be said without imposing any of our own ideals and beliefs onto them.

One of the ways we can reconnect at any time is to focus on our breath: not deep breaths, but very gentle breaths, in and out through the nose. When we do that even just for a few minutes, standing, sitting or lying down, our whole body can relax and let go. Here’s a link to some audios you can listen to that talk you through. The Gentle Breath Meditation is a simple way to reduce anxiousness, restore your sense of self and regain conscious presence.

What is True Love – Fairy Tale or Fact?


When I was a little girl, I read lots of stories about princesses and princes and they usually ended up as a couple living ‘happily ever after’ and that set me a picture, an ideal and a fantasy of how life and love could or should be.

How true is that?

How true is our love in all our relationships?

When I was an adult I carried on the fantasy by reading romantic stories where the man and the woman would have some difficulties at first, i.e. perhaps it wasn’t always love at first sight, but eventually they would realise they did love each other and the book would end on a happy note with the couple pledging their eternal love to each other.

It gave me a sense of completion, of satisfaction, but only for a moment. Reality would soon kick in as I realised that real life wasn’t like that.

Looking back I realise most of my life I have felt unloved. I wasn’t abused in any way but something was always missing, and it was only in my 60s that I discovered the missing ingredient was… me. I didn’t love me, so how could anyone else?

For whatever reason very early on in life I decided that showing my true self to the world wasn’t a great idea, and that it was more important to try to be what I thought other people wanted me to be. So I never brought my full self to any relationship, whether to my parents, my sisters, my friends, my boyfriends or my husband, my bosses, or my clients. For everyone I came into contact with I played a role, projecting an image of a happy, efficient, busy, jolly person, when all the while there was a deep underlying sadness, because nobody knew who I truly was. I didn’t know myself.

What I am learning now, in a different country, in a new relationship, is first of all to observe what I am feeling at any moment in time. In the past I dulled my feelings with food but since changing my diet to a more nourishing one, I am living more lightly and find that I am able to recognise subtle feelings that in the past I would have dismissed.

Secondly I am learning to express how I feel honestly and openly, with no apology but with the absolute truth of what I feel in my body. Feelings are fleeting experiences that, if we ignore them or bury them, can build into a tension that causes illness and disease further down the track. For me not expressing how I feel has caused anger and resentment in me, and that feels awful in my body. When I simply say how I feel, my whole body relaxes.

Thirdly I am learning to let go of the need to control anybody else, learning to express what I feel and to not have any expectations of an outcome. I have learned that loving another means giving them space to come to things in their own time. Loving is not controlling – this goes for parenting our children, partnerships, friends, everywhere in life.

On a practical level I have learned that true love does not have a fairy-tale ending, because our relationships are full of challenges and they don’t stop. These challenges create a constant tension that we can choose to be overwhelmed by and want to run away from, or we can see them as beautiful reflections for us to learn from and evolve. Gently exploring these reflections gives us the opportunity to deepen our understanding of each other and thereby deepening our love.

Most important of all when it comes to love in relationships, I have learned that our first relationship is with ourselves, appreciating the qualities we bring to the world, honouring everything we feel, and expressing our truth as much as we feel we can. Only then can we bring ourselves in full to life, only then can we be the love that we truly are in all our relationships.


Esoteric – The Truth Within

Photograph by Carmel Reid
Photograph by Carmel Reid

The word Esoteric is often used to mean something mysterious and for some that is a real experience, because the true meaning of the word is ‘Innermost’ and many of us have no concept or awareness of what goes on inside our bodies. We may be aware of our physiology, ie that we have a heart and lungs and a digestive system, but we also have many subtle mechanisms for sensing that go beyond our physical awareness of sound sight touch taste and feel.

We are surrounded by energy, everything is energy, we are energy and our bodies can feel energy flowing in and through us. Witness what happens when someone shouts at us angrily, we naturally recoil. Even though they may not have hit us physically, the impact of the energy, the aggression in the voice let alone the words, feels physical. So we can feel energy, and we can do that all the time. This means that everywhere we go, we are picking up the emotional energy of every single person we meet and, because we are all connected, of everyone on the planet.

Now that sounds pretty massive, feeling everyone on the planet, but it might explain the days when we feel tired for no reason, because we have been picking up energy without being aware of it.

This is where the Esoteric comes in – our ability to be astutely aware of what is passing in and through us, our awareness of what we are feeling within our own bodies, which can be a guide for our choices throughout our day. This is something we can all do, so it’s not really a mystery, it’s a choice.

We tend to measure ourselves by external factors, what’s going on outside of us, what people say, how people look, how they react to us when we speak, and we adapt our behaviours to survive or according to what makes us feel more comfortable, and we protect ourselves from hurt. But that protection builds up physical tension in our bodies that stops us from feeling anything so then we get surprised because we didn’t see it coming.

It may seem weird to know that we can see or feel what’s coming, but it’s not a mysterious talent open to only a few, we all have these amazing abilities to connect within, see and feel, and we have access to an ageless wisdom through our bodies.

We think that our brains and our minds are the wise part of us but in truth is it our body, what we feel inside, our connection within, that gives us access to an intelligence far greater than most of us realise.

The Esoteric can support us in every single aspect of our lives, especially in our relationships and in our expression, because when we truly feel what’s going on, we take nothing personally. We can understand why something is being expressed and the way it is being expressed and know that it is either another person’s expression of hurt, or it is something we ourselves need to learn from. When we are more aware, we can read situations and people in a way that gives us that understanding so we are not devastated by what is going on around us.

This applies to all walks of life and all professions. It is very easy to get sucked into other people’s emotional dramas in a way that is physically draining, but when we can ‘observe and not absorb’ then we are less exhausted, because we have stayed connected to our own body and not let in any energy that is harming.

“Everybody comes from the esoteric, it is in them and of them and it is the same in everybody – everybody has the esoteric on the inside. This is a fact that belongs to the meaning of the word esoteric – the inner-most.”

Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 282







I’m Cool With God


Photograph by Carmel Reid

Many people feel lost when it comes to talking about God. Some say categorically that He does or does not exist, others claim to be ‘Agnostic’ (Not knowing). What I can say about God is that I’m no longer ‘sitting on the fence’, an English expression which meant I wasn’t sure which side I was on. These days I feel cool about the existence of God, but it’s taken me 50 years to get there.

In my childhood I never questioned God, Jesus or the Saints as taught to us by the Roman Catholic religion. I dutifully went through my First Communion at age 6, was confirmed in my early teens and went to confession every week. My education from 7 to 17 was at a Catholic Convent and in the early days God was my friend, I used to love going into the church and having a ‘chat’ with God but by the time I was 18 I began to question His existence and stopped going to Church altogether.

Instead of reading the Bible I read lots of science fiction books that celebrated the brain and made no mention of God or how life started, they only looked at a technological future where the body held a minimal place.

In my 30s and 40s I started to explore New Age modalities. Many of them referred to a mystical higher power but avoided using the word ‘God’ which suited me fine because I was happy to refer to ‘The Universe’ or ‘The Source’ and other non-specific names as a way of explaining the something-bigger-than-us that I could sense but not fully define.

In my mid 50s I met philosopher and author Serge Benhayon who presented God in a very matter of fact way and it blew me away because so much of what he said made sense. It was very different from the stories I’d been fed as a child where I learned about a judgemental, angry God. Instead I learned that God is a truly loving being and we are all his equal children, with no ‘chosen’ ones because we are all the same in our deepest essence.

Despite there being, or maybe because of, the many different religions, most of us do not know that the same one God exists as a fact of life for all of us, regardless of what we believe or what religion we belong to. I found that reassuring.

We’ve all heard about free will and interpret the words in many different ways to suit our lifestyle but I have since learned that the free will God gave us was the freedom to choose what energy we align to and that energy is what gives us our thoughts and drives our actions.

‘Everything is energy’Albert Einstein

‘Everything is because of energy’Serge Benhayon

It was pretty mind-blowing for me to learn that my thoughts don’t originate from my brain, that they are fed through me from either one of only two outside sources of energy and that what I say is either harming or healing depending on which source I choose.

I can feel this for myself: if I am deeply connected to my body, what I express feels true and is exactly what needs to be said in that moment whereas if I am not connected, what I say is often laced with emotions or laced with judgement and that feels horrible.

I love the feeling that we are all connected and the understanding that every single move we make, every breath we take affects everyone on the planet. We are indeed all one and energetic responsibility is important.

There is a lot more for me to feel and learn. When Serge Benhayon talks about God I can understand and feel that what he presents is a truth because it is so totally in his body. I am unable to present with such clear conviction because most of my life has been lived through my mind and for me God is a mental concept not yet a full physical experience.

I need to live in a way that does not dull my awareness. My body knows Truth and I need to allow myself to feel it in full and then I can express what is there. My mind can repeat any number of words that I have heard but if they are not also part of my lived experience then they will be just empty words.

So although I am cool with knowing and accepting in my mind that God exists, I still have to experience God directly in my body.

“God is light and God is love, both of which are one and the same source of emanating truth. These qualities cannot be felt in the mind.”

Serge Benhayon Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 213

Further Reading:

  1. Who or what is God by Carmel Reid
  2. Unimedpedia: God



Abuse in Communication


Photography by Carmel Reid
Photography by Carmel Reid

We have developed a way of communicating in our society that we have come to accept as normal but when we explore it in detail, there is a lot of abuse that we ignore, don’t recognise or don’t know how to deal with.

What type of communication is abusive?

Most of us have different ways of speaking depending on whom we are addressing and how much we feel free to express our deeper feelings or our dominating emotions. We are polite to a stranger but with friends, family and in some workplaces there can be a level of abuse that should not be considered acceptable. Unloving words, tone of voice and body language are just as harmful psychologically as physical violence is on the body and long term psychological abuse can lead to mental and physical illness.

Here are some examples of abusive communication that I’m sure most of us have experienced:-

• Siblings speaking to each other in an argumentative way

• Parents talking to their children with frustration and no appreciation

• Teenagers being sulky, rude and uncooperative

• Friends being sarcastic or insulting making out that it’s funny

• A boss who is angry about something criticising everybody

• Drunken men and women staggering about and shouting in the street

• Couples bickering and sniping at each other

Most of us have come to accept this kind of abuse as part of everyday life, not knowing that it doesn’t have to be that way, and that we can all treat each other with decency and respect no matter what. It may take some years of introspection to change the way we are but it can be done if we are motivated to change.

We all know that abuse begets abuse so where does it start?

Let’s look at one of the most insidious forms of abuse and that is self-abuse: i.e. what we inflict upon ourself through our own internal communication, how we think about our self, how we speak about our self, and how we treat our own bodies.

Many of us are constantly criticising our self from the moment we get up and look in the mirror. It goes from picking holes in our appearance to apologising for all the things we think we did wrong throughout our day.

Where does this come from? 

I can only speak for myself…
I was brought up as a Catholic and we were all told that we were born with ‘Original Sin’. Not only that, we had to go to confession every week to confess our daily misdemeanours and were told to say three Hail Marys and two Our Fathers in order to atone for our sins. There was never a mention of appreciation of our delicate beauty and the qualities we brought to life, only the things we did wrong.

For me that self-abusive feeling of constantly being wrong followed me well into adulthood, and I would assume that if somebody reacted to what I’d said or done that it was somehow my fault. If something went wrong, I would apologise and I’m not alone – there are many men and women who apologise all the time, even when something is not their fault!

We can all communicate with our self in a negative way, for example, looking at food that we use to numb our feelings: we may criticise our self for eating unhealthy foods but there is insufficient self love to want to truly nourish our self, so it is an ongoing cycle of abuse – eat, feel guilty, eat to numb the guilt, feel guilty again.

The criticism we communicate to our self can be about the bad things we think we have done, or the flaws in our appearance, our speech, our home, and our relationships. Every single time we speak or think that way, it is like sticking pins in a VooDoo doll – we are hurting our self, cursing our self with our negative self-talk.

Instead of all that internal abuse, we could make space to appreciate the qualities we bring to the world, the values that we live by and the way our bodies move and support us no matter what. There is much to appreciate in our self and in each other and that is what will change the world.

Once we stop the internal abusive communication, we can begin to value and appreciate our self and then there is no way we will accept any level of abuse from another or towards another.

With more confidence in our self and what we feel, we are able to stand up, call the abuse for what it is, no longer accepting any kind of abusive communication as normal.

We can also role model how to treat people with decency and respect by how we are with others in our everyday communications.

“Not adoring another is abuse.”
– Serge Benhayon –

“Not adoring our self is abuse!”
– added by Gayle Cue

Further Reading:

(1) Understanding in Relationships  How Judgement leads to abuse

(2) Energetic Integrity and Energetic Responsibility

(3) How Do You Have Communication Without Reaction